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Snow Wow!

January 15, 2010

Its been snowing (long pause) and we have all turned into headless chickens. Well maybe not all but anybody with the word editor or reporter in their job title. I am not going to join the chorus of those who ring their hands and complain about what happens. Yes we are always surprised when it snows, because it doesn’t that often and it hasn’t much since the advent of the internet, Twitter and 24 hour TV news. Not to mention dammed fool bloggers.
We spent last weekend sliding down a hill on shiny pieces of plastic. It was great fun, everybody enjoyed it, without exception and that is something to be celebrated. What else have you done lately that has had 100% support from all your friends and family. No one stood around being a grump, no one complained about being included, excluded, warm, cold, a victim or whatever. Every body screamed like a girl and smiled like a nutter. And all for free. Old Nitram sacks from the shed and coal sacks from the log store was all it need for 6 hours of uncomplicated fun. Not a battery to go flat in sight, no remote controls to fight over, just a hill, some snow, a few plastic bags and a flask of hot chocolate. Hell some times I love climate change.
Today I was a victim, quite a happy victim in many ways, of snow related transportus interuptus. I arrived at Waterloo a bit hung over after a late night with a bunch of other middle aged dads let loose in the big smoke, too discover that there were no trains going anywhere. Some very polite station information staff said that I would very lucky to get anywhere this morning and plan to be in Waterloo for a while. Good, honest advice gave me time to camp out I the café near one of the few plugs and work through the morning before moving up to Kings Cross to see if the train I am sitting on is running.
Plugs, we need more of them, that have electricity in them. There is some nanny state type out there telling people to switch off the power to their plugs in case they get sued for providing dodgy power.
Can I say I love the Chair of the Health and Safety Executive. I salute you Judith Hackitt for taking to task all the nonsense spouted by news papers and small minded health and safety officers. Look up her “putting the record straight “blog on the HSE website.
Oh yes plugs. Can we have some more in coffee shops and cafes etc. I love the idea and reality of sitting in some eatery tapping away on my Mac while I drink a decent coffee. But even this Mac will not run all day on one battery. If you want our money for the coffee and cakes then let us plug in. They do on this train and that means I get off charged not flat.
Being a northern train bound for Edinburgh it’s a bit tougher that the softie southern locos in Waterloo and with a bit of rethinking we are bound for the very wonderful Darlington! I say that despite the fact that I am a Darlington virgin. The point is in the face of disaster I have had a very productive day. Lots of stuff done, reports written, briefings issued etc. None of this would have happened in any considered way if the trains had been running. I would have rushed from one meeting to the next, talking lots and achieving less.
So lets have some more snow. The preferred slot is Friday afternoon to allow accumulation and freezing on the hill hear the Adventure Forest. We can fine tune our sack sliding all weekend and go back to work on Monday with a big smile on our face and a few bruises on our arses.
One question on scrotal harmonics. Is it me or do you also suffer from this issue when sliding head first down a hill on your stomach? With both the kids sitting on top me, in the position its possible to get a hell of a speed up. At “terminal velocity” one gets the strangest pain from that part of the body as the combination of bumps and speeds sets up a very strange harmonic on my ball sack! Is it just me? Probably.

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